Entering Out

Just some poems I wrote, along with my students, as we were studying poetry last spring.

Home Front

“Where is my daddy?” my baby girl sobs.

“He’s gone for a while, doing soldier jobs,”

I reply with a sigh, lugging out the trash–

I’m missing his comfort, and we’re strapped for cash. 

Got an email last night, he said he was fine

Then he wrote of hs buddy who stepped on a mine.

“It wasn’t too bad—had to cut off his hand,

And his right eye is blind—but at least he can stand.”

I sent a reply filled with cheer and good news

So he wouldn’t worry ‘bout me and my blues.

But every moment of every day

I live knowing well the price that we pay.

The wives—daughters—mothers—the husbands and sons

Who wait here at home while our troops man the guns,

Waging a war of our own as we wait

For their tour to be over—before it’s too late.

© 2008 Rebecca S. Bontrager

My Side of the War

If only they knew

the sleep that I’ve lost

as I worried about

what this war would cost.

If they just believed

it’s not about money—

don’t they understand?

I’ve already got plenty.

If they’d just let go

and think on their own

and not blindly accept

every broadcast they’re shown.

If only they saw

the future I see

if extremist groups rule

and terror reigns free.

If only they heard

my heart’s deepest groan

as I sent out the troops

knowing some wouldn’t come home.

If I could just join them—

those boys that I sent—

but I have to stay here

and be President….

© 2008 Rebecca S. Bontrager

These 2 scriptures came to mind last week when I heard some teachers talking about “those horrible children” (see previous post “Powerless Teachers, Horrible Children”): 

Malachi 4:5-6a “Behold, I will send you Elijah the prophet before the coming of the great and dreadful day of the LORD.
 6 And he will turn the hearts of the fathers to the children…”

Ephesians 4:15 “but, speaking the truth in love, may grow up in all things into Him who is the head—Christ.”

This is what we need to do as Christian teachers in public schools.  First of all, speak the truth—but remember to speak it only when we are motivated by love.   It is easy for me to criticize when I am angry and frustrated—I’m even justified in my criticism most of the time. 

But truth has its greatest power when it is spoken from a heart motivated by love—by a teacher whose primary goal is getting the best for the students rather than getting her own way or her own point of view accepted.  Same in the classroom—I have to make sure that when I reprimand a student, I’m doing it with the right motivation—to better the student’s life and not just to get him “under control.” 

Another thing we must cultivate is having the heart of a father toward our students.  “Father” means many things to many people–here’s how I see it:  a father recognizes that his children are just children and are not yet complete.  They are still learning, somewhat fragile and definitely in need of guidance.  But he also knows that sometimes the guidance will need to be in the form of strict discipline, relentless pushing, saying no—all motivated once again by his great love for the child.  The focus should always be on what’s truly best for the child/student.   

So speak truth—say the tough things even when they hurt—but make sure your words come out as a balm and an inspiration rather than a weapon of control.  Be a father—lead your students to maturity with a strong but tender hand.  I encourage you to look to the perfect father, God, as a role model in developing this attitude toward students. 

I think this will be pleasing to the Lord.   

I’ve been hearing lots of complaining in my school lately about “those horrible children,” from people that I KNOW don’t mean what they are saying.  These are truly dedicated individuals who sincerely desire to make a difference in the lives of their students, yet their words describing their charges are full of contention and strife and bitterness and all manner of ugliness. 

The worst part is, it’s catching.  When I heard myself talking the same way, I was worried.  I know the children are not the Enemy, but I was starting to view them as such.  Especially after I found they had stolen 10 bottles of water from my cabinet when I was gone–but that’s another story….

So what is happening to us?  I asked myself.  Why am I turning on the very ones I normally enjoy and desire to serve? Who is the Enemy if not these “horrible children”?  

Here’s what I think happens—it’s the old “mad about work so I kick the dog” syndrome.  When teachers feel powerless, they turn on the only ones they still have any power over—the students.  Fortunately our “kick” is just random grouchiness and maybe an extra assignment or two—we are civilized enough to not literally abuse our students!  Still, the frustration has to go somewhere, and it’s usually released by complaining in the teachers’ lounge, ultimately damaging the (already fragile) morale of everyone within earshot. 

Many teachers feel powerless these days.  It’s not the kids—we can handle them giving us problems.  It’s when our professional status and expert knowledge are ignored, over-ruled, and/or unsupported that we get discouraged.   First surprised, then hurt, then discouraged, and finally angry.  Then we lash out in the only direction that is left open to us…the students.

It’s not the “horrible children”—so who exactly is the Enemy?  Well, going all the way back to the source, I would have to say it is the devil himself, the adversary, the accuser, the father of lies, the “spirit who now works in the sons of disobedience” (Ephesians 2:2.)  His express purpose is to “steal, kill and destroy” (John 10:10) anything good on this earth.  But to say the devil is the Enemy is probably a little too religious for some people, so y’all can just say NCLB…(that’s a joke!)

Seriously–right now, it only matters that we get hold of ourselves, act like the professionals we are and quit kicking the dog…. 

God grant me the serenity

to accept the things I cannot change,

courage to change the things I can,

and the wisdom to know the difference.  

Go here–you’ll have to cut and paste, and then press the arrow.

http://www.youtube.com/v/5m3Q2lDMRm0&

Saw this on someone else’s web site–it really got me thinking. You think you know it all and then God shows you something even more clearly, and this made me see, even more clearly, the necessity of an active, personal relationship with Jesus Christ in the whole “Christian” equation.

People who don’t KNOW Christ or know about what He actually DID for the world have this idea that Christians are Christians because they are good.

NOT and again I say NOT!!! Christians are not better than anyone else, and often times they’re worse.

Those who don’t know about Jesus Christ see a bunch of people who are NOT good and assume that because these “fakes” claim to be Christ-followers, then the whole Jesus thing is fake.

Not so, Grasshopper.

JESUS is the only One who makes us acceptable to God. We are perfect in God’s eyes because of Jesus, even when we are not perfect in the present reality of this world. Jesus covers our imperfections so that God does not see them. Unfortunately the world still sees them.

And that is why we as Christ followers MUST tell them the GOOD NEWS about Jesus Christ who died for them so that they can be perfect and accepted in God’s eyes.

It doesn’t do any good for the church to tell people they have to be good–we can’t. It’s only Jesus–ONLY JESUS–that makes this whole Christianity thing worth anything.

Now do you see why He is so important?

Ms. S.,   an instructor at our local university, said in the course of her in-service presentation today that lowering expectations for student academic performance is actually a form of racism.

Can I hear a big “AMEN”?!  It was good to hear that from someone who has more letters after her name than I do!

Way too many teachers, out of the kindness of their hearts or under the guise of racial pride (giving their own ethnic group a leg up) oppress disadvantaged students further by giving them “breaks” in their lessons. 

It “breaks” my heart to see it; these well-meaning educators just don’t seem to realize the disservice they are doing the students.  Things like translating lessons when the student really needs to master English, even if they have to struggle. Or letting them take a week to do an assignment that should only take a day–it looks like a kindness, but really it’s just keeping kids down.

American expectations of the educated person may not be the highest in the world, but we still have a minimum for our high school graduates.  Sooner or later they will need to read, write and speak English well and without assistance, or finish a project in the same amount of time as their (so-called) non-disadvantaged peer.  If we want our students to compete as equals in American society, then we need to have the same academic expectations of them as we have of those who have not had to overcome the disadvantages of poverty and second language acquisition. 

I have long been frustrated by this problem, but I was afraid to say too much about it because I probably lack both the education and the ethnic background to speak authoritatively.  But today our presenter, who has both an M.A. and the right ethnic background has said it straight out:  lowered expectations for minority students are a form of racism. 

Thank you, Ms. S, for feeling something stronger than pity, for thinking deeper than racial pride and for speaking the truth. 

 missb’s note:  this is from me to a real teacher, and it’s an excerpt, hence the choppiness. 

…Don’t get sidetracked by focusing on what the world values most.  God doesn’t think like the world does.  When you make sure you are doing His work where He has posted you, He will cover when and if you are lacking.   

Here’s the bottom line:  Do you know what God wants you to do here?  Are you doing it?  What other people think of you (i.e. whether you have a high AP test passing rate or not) is NOT what’s important.  That’s just pride when that matters too much.  It’s what He thinks of you that really matters.   

Striving to be an excellent teacher is a good thing to do, and the right thing to do–I think God Himself very much wants you to be the best teacher that you can possibly be-but it’s definitely not His will when “being the best” causes you to fall short in other areas of your life, like your health, your relationships with Him, friends and family, your creative side. 

As for the argument that you want to leave a “good testimony”–well, it doesn’t exactly make God look good when you work at your job so hard you lose your peace, your sweet smile, and your time to be with those you love.  And besides– you ARE a good teacher.  Let’s get real.  You have an excellent work ethic.  You are doing the things you are being told to do by your school.  You are an expert in your field.  Kids listen to you and respect you.  And you are a perfectionist. 

So just chill.  What you aren’t is Jesus.  Some of these kids need a miracle, and He’s the only Miracle Worker who can who can touch them (maybe through you, but maybe not)  and get them where they need to be. 

…Do not underestimate what you give these kids when you love them, “love” being a loose term for all the things that make you beloved by all those kids that come in at lunch time to hang out in your room and bug you.

Loving kids is the gift God has given you. You need to just keep doing with all your heart the thing you know how to do and trust God to take care of the other parts.

You must not neglect the gift that is in you.  It is the thing that God has given you to do, the thing that gives you the greatest joy and satisfaction in your job– loving and encouraging students, passing on the life lessons you’ve learned and  sweetening the world around you.    

Trust that you are doing exactly what God wants you to be doing.  And rest.  You have 4 days away from kids coming up.  Don’t go to Austin, you’re getting fried with all those weekend trips. Re-create.  Next Monday is a new day.     

I look like crap this morning. 

I know, English teachers, especially female English teachers, shouldn’t talk that way—but it’s the truth.  You know the look—sleep-shadowed eyes, wrinkly clothing, flat hair and too-bright blush—I look like I haven’t slept all night.      

The truth is, I almost haven’t.  It was about 2 a.m. when I finally gave up trying keep my eyes open and continue reading.  I get up at 6 a.m.  So I am running on empty.   And it’s all because of a book.       

The book, in case you were wondering, is called Cordelia’s Honor, written by Lois McMaster Bujold.  What first caught my attention was the abundance of SAT words scattered gracefully and unself-consciously throughout her writing, but what kept my attention was the story.  Ms. Bujold is an articulate and complex story weaver.  It is an enormously entertaining tale, and the writing is not mere brain candy (i.e. light reading.) 

Despite frequent references to space flight, nerve disruptors, and the various other accoutrements of the sci-fi novel,  the futuristic, other-worldy part of things is so naturally woven into the fabric of the story that you hardly think about it.  The characters are meaty and very “round,” as I teach my students to say.  Bujold manages to make you care about them and feel as if you know them before the end of the first chapter.        

This quality is consistent throughout the whole book—actually, throughout the whole series of books, The Vorkosigan Saga, of which this novel is the first.   A great story.  It’s not a classic yet, but give it another 20 years….      

So I’m sitting here while my kids watch Romeo and Juliet, thinking I need to share this with them, to tell them why I look like I just rolled out of bed and can’t wait to get back.       

They need to know that a book can be worth losing some sleep over.       

The principle holds true for any teacher.  Don’t lose touch with your subject—lose sleep over it.  Keep interacting with it, keep growing in it.  Remember your “first love.”  Your excitement and enjoyment of the subject you teach will be contagious.  Your students will learn more, and your teaching will stay energized, up-to-date and relevant.       

You will love to get up in the morning, even though you’ve only slept 4 hours, and continue sharing your passion in the classroom. 

I just read some comments about Rosa Parks–the writer, Parker J. Palmer, suggested that Rosa remained seated in the front of the bus not only because she was tired physically, but because she was tired of passively encouraging racism by letting it overpower her personal values.

He went on to say how educators face the same dilemma that Rosa finally solved that historic day. They move grumbling to the back of the bus, all the way blaming the Institution of Education even as they compromise their own values by allowing the institution to move them away from their purpose and passion–teaching students.

If unaccompanied by decisive and far-reaching action (and what teacher has the time or political clout for that?) what begins as righteous anger and noble purpose in pointing out the faults of the institution soon degenerates into gripe sessions and negative morale. The only possible result: miserable teachers and bad teaching. Everyone loses.

The time has come for teachers to refuse to move to the back of the bus.

If blaming the institution has begun to paralyze your passion–shut up and start teaching!

 Like Rosa Parks’ simple refusal to move from her seat, it is a small, seemingly insignificant action in the face of the monstrous problems in education today. But taking this action can change history.

Go back to your beginnings, to why you wanted to be a teacher to begin with. Be a teacher with an honorable character inside the classroom.

Forget the outside stuff. Don’t let it become a smokescreen to hide a personal lack of integrity or laziness: “Oh, I can’t teach well because the Institution of Education is putting too many roadblocks in the way.”

Real change starts from the inside. Blaming institutional mandates for the education students are receiving is a blustery and selfish excuse to teach badly. It only reinforces the institution’s need to control.

In the end, teaching isn’t about WHAT is taught; it’s about WHO is teaching it. A real teacher can lead students to new knowledge with a piece of charcoal, a stone wall, and a full heart. The lessons might not be state test-passing knowledge; they will be much more important and long-lasting. Kids will learn to live a life of honor, to stay true to what they believe, and to do as they’re told by the man signing their paychecks or else find another job.

Don’t let institutional nonsense snuff out your personal passion for education.

KEEP STUDENT’S # 1!

I wrote the poem ”Duty” (in Writing category) when Judge Alito was being confirmed.  I am not super-political, but it seemed to me he was a good guy to have as a judge in our country, one whose values I shared.   But as the debate over his confirmation raged on and on and on, I felt sorry for him—such a broo-ha-ha (is that how you spell it?!)  they were making over little things. 

How easy it would have been for him to just throw up his hands and say, “FINE!  I don’t even want your stinkin’ Supreme Court seat!  That much less hassle for me!”   (I have this theory that the more power people have, the less they lust after it and the more they see it for the just plain work it really is.  I realize this may be very idealistic but I still like to hope it’s true.)

But Justice Samuel Alito didn’t just drop out and escape the pressures.  He endured the discomfort of having his life picked over and his personhood attacked, because he sensed his duty; he was born to this time and this place for a reason–to become a Supreme Court Justice. 

Oh, so very many times in my work it would be easy to say to the kids, “FINE!  Keep on doing (whatever.)  If you don’t care, I don’t care.  That much less for me to grade.”   But I, too, was born to this particular time and place, “chosen and appointed” to lead in my classroom even when it would be easier and more comfortable to just teach to the test and let them rot in ignorance.  

“Duty” is about not taking the easy way out.  It’s about paying the price for a prize you may never see in this world.  It’s about courage and sacrifice and fears that you suppress for the sake of the greater good. 

 “You did not choose Me, but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit—fruit that will last.”                                       John 15:16a 

“Greater love has no man than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.”       John 15:13 

Be All That You Can Be

Teach

Teach the subject
Teach study skills
Teach social skills

Keep accurate grade records
Keep accurate attendance records
Keep accurate discipline records

Try alternative teaching methods
Try calling parents
Try after-school detention

Have a colorful bulletin board
Have a safe learning environment
Have a continuing education plan

Be fair
Be funny
Be tough
Be tolerant
Be interesting
Be intentional

BE PERFECT!

Be all that you can be…

TEACH!

(c) 1993 Rebecca S. Bontrager